Mental Health Notes

Make the Most of Your Support Group

by Alicia Sparks, Mental Health Notes on June 7th, 2007

Today is our fourth day into the discussion of personal recovery plans. Yesterday I talked to you about support groups and gave you some examples of who you may want to choose, and how you may want to choose them.

Today, I want to go a bit deeper with support groups. The name suggests a support group is a group that provides support, right? Right. But unlike traditional support groups (the types that allow you to attend meetings), you can choose your own members for your personal recovery plan support group.

(Depending on your personality and preferences, you may find that idea appealing or frightening. If you choose your support group as suggested, you’ll probably find that anxiety ease up a bit with time.)

So, now that you have your support group - or at least an idea of the folks you want in it - what do you do with them?

Pretty much anything you want.

The people you choose for your personal recovery support plan are the people you know will help you through your recovery. You’ve talked with them about supporting you throughout your recovery, and they’ve agreed. They may not understand your condition as well as you do, but they know you’re dealing with some mental health issues and they want to see you through those issues.

It’s of the utmost importance that both you and each member of your support group are completely comfortable and willing to be there. Otherwise, it’s not going to work.

For example, my support group consists steadily of three people. All three have known me for years, were with me before I knew I was bipolar, when I found out I was bipolar, and as I’m learning to live with bipolar disorder. I have a “back up” support group member who can help me with the bigger issues in ways the other members can’t.

I want to note that only one immediate family member is in my support group. I’ve decided not to include my parents. This isn’t because they don’t support me; they’re ridiculously supportive. It’s because they worry - constantly - about me. If I experience a hypomanic episode, my support group members understand how to talk me through it. My parents, on the other hand, would freak out and flirt dangerously with calling 911. For me, during a hypomanic episode, 911 isn’t necessary.

I also have a very close friend I don’t include in my support group, for a variety of reasons. She’s the mother of a soon-to-be toddler, newly married, just took on the role of “step mom,” just moved, and is pregnant. While she knows I have bipolar disorder, the extent of her understanding is that I “get crazy sometimes.” I love her and know that she has too much going on in her own life for me to ask her to be a part of my personal recovery plan support group. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us.

Why am I recapping and giving examples of the dynamics of a personal recovery plan support group? To help you understand how to get the most out of your own.

Each person will have a different relationship with the members of their own support group. You may even have different relationships with each individual member of your support group. That’s why it’s important to understand what you need out of your support group and which member can provide that need for you.

Examples of your needs may be:

• Someone to talk to when you’re severely depressed or severely manic.
• Someone to turn to when a very upsetting even has occurred.
• Someone willing to encourage you to stick with your personal recovery plan and even discuss your progress and set backs with you - if you want.
• Someone to make sure you get to your doctor’s appointments on those days you just don’t want to get out of bed.

You’re needs may vary from another person’s needs. Simply make sure you know what your needs are and who you can turn to in your support group to meet those needs.

Share This

POSTED IN: Anxiety Disorders, Everyday Stress, Medications, Men, Mood Disorders, No Prescription Needed, Personality Disorders, Resources, Self-help, Tips, Women