Northern Illinois University Gunman’s Name Deserves To Be On A Cross
By now you’re all familiar with Steven Kazmierczak. If you’re not, here’s a brief summary: On Valentine’s Day (February 14, 2008), Steven Kazmierczak shot and killed five people at the Northern Illinois University before redirecting the ammunition and taking his own life, bringing the total number of deaths to six.
Six. Six people died. It’s important that you know that. Six.
And soon enough, I expect to once again see and hear the words “gun control” and “the mentally ill” used together in sentences quite frequently. After all, this case violently echoes Virginia Tech gunman Seung-Hui Cho in so many ways.
So, because every major news source out there seems to have the “who, what, when, where, and how” of this thing covered - and they’re certainly working on discovering the “why” - I’m going to leave all of that alone.
I’m going to instead focus on the six white crosses placed in the center of the Northern Illinois University campus on Friday. Four of these crosses bear names of victims (Daniel Parmenter, Ryanne Mace, Julianna Gehant, and Catalina Garcia). Two of the crosses are blank, though it’s expected that Gayle Dubowski’s name will be placed on one now that she’s been identified.
That leaves one blank cross. Six victims, six crosses, yet one without a name.
It saddens me that even though six people died, and six crosses stand in the center of campus, Steven Kazmierczak’s name is not on any of them. I can understand why Gayle Dubowski’s name wasn’t/isn’t on any of the crosses yet; she hadn’t yet been officially identified. However, Steven Kazmierczak has long been identified.
Has his name been left off the crosses because he was the shooter? Because he was the one who took the other five lives? Let’s not forget that his life was taken, too - mental health problems are certainly not something people ask for, nor is the desire to commit suicide. Let’s not forget that his family and friends suffer the loss of his life, regardless of who took it. Let’s not forget that his family and friends certainly feel that his life is worth remembering.
One of Kazmierczak’s professors, Jim Thomas, commented on Kazmierczak’s fear that his Army discharge - more specifically, the reason for his discharge - would add stigma to his life. Louise Gbadamashi, the manager of the Thresholds-Mary Hill House when Kazmierczak was there, pointed out that “[Kazmierczak] never wanted to identify with being mentally ill.”
Gee, I wonder why Kazmierczak would have felt any of these ways? Yes, that’s sarcasm.
Let’s not add to the stigma Kazmierczak tried to avoid by refusing to acknowledge his life and his worth and his memory.
Let’s please, Northern Illinois University, put his name on that sixth white cross.
POSTED IN: Criminal Psych, Current Affairs & News, Death, Rants & Raves, Sites of Interest, Suicide, stigma
10 opinions for Northern Illinois University Gunman’s Name Deserves To Be On A Cross
Michelle Mace
Feb 16, 2008 at 5:18 pm
How dare you suggest that this bastard deserves to be honored and missed by the NIU campus? He took our beautiful girl from us before she even had a chance to live. We have a hole in our lives that will never, never heal. The only thing she was guilty of was sitting in the front row. Mentally ill or not, he does not deserve to stand beside the innocent people he brutally and coldly murdered. Before you ask people to be sensitive to mental illnes, try being sensitive to those of us who have lost our light.
Will
Feb 16, 2008 at 10:59 pm
Which priest at Queen of the Rosary Catholic Church, Elk Grove Village, IL, molested Stephen P. Kazmierczak while he was an altarboy there? He needs to be charged with Kazmierczak’s crimes.
Alicia Sparks, NAMI Affiliation Leader
Feb 17, 2008 at 1:00 am
Michelle: I’ll begin by letting you know that I am indeed sensitive to, and terribly sorry for, your loss. I can’t express that enough; I don’t think anyone ever can. I pray to God you, your family, and your friends have every ounce of immediately available support you need during this time.
I realize my sympathies to the victims and the families weren’t clearly stated in my post (the reason for that being that this post was dedicated solely to the subject of the white crosses, Kazmierczak’s alleged struggle with mental illness, and his family and friends in the aftermath of losing that struggle). So, because my sympathies weren’t clearly expressed, I can understand why you would be confused as to where I stand regarding your family’s feelings, Ryanne’s life and memory, and the lives and memories of the other victims, as well as why you would want to ask me to “try being sensitive to those of us who have lost our light.”
However, having the ability to be sensitive toward the other five victims and their families doesn’t cancel out the ability for me or anyone else to be sensitive toward mental illness and those who suffer with it, rather than learn to properly manage it. Feeling sorrow for everyone involved is possible. If it was indeed mental illness that led Steven Kazmierczak to feel the way he did and commit the crimes he committed, that’s only further proof that turning our backs on mental illness, and the tragedies it can bring, will ultimately lead to more. It’s a vicious cycle in the worst sense; lives are being lost. Our loved ones are being taken from us.
With that said - and given your considerable and very recent loss right now - I’ll rephrase. I am not asking you to feel anything toward Steven Kazmierczak. How could I? I’m not in your position. The anger and hurt and betrayal and rage and confusion you must feel right now are every feeling I would undoubtedly have in your situation, too. I will only ask that you remember that Steven Kazmierczak had family and friends, too. There are people in his family and friends that are feeling exactly for him the way you feel for your lost girl. They deserve to grieve with respect, just as you do, and none of us have the moral right to take that from them. It’s important to remember that there is no “winner” in this situation - everyone directly involved lost someone they care about.
Neglecting to reach out and ask my readers to remember that Steven Kazmierczak, his family, and his friends were/are fellow humans would go against everything I stand for, as would neglecting to remind readers of just how serious mental illness is when not properly managed. These are things I simply will not do.
Again, I am truly sorry for your loss and I hope this has cleared up any confusion you had about my post.
Will: I am (or was, until reading your comment) completely clueless about any molestation Kazmierczak suffered. If that’s the case, I’m sure there will be (if there hasn’t already been) discussion about the impact that must have had on his mental state growing up and on into adulthood. It also makes me think of the ongoing nature vs. nurture theories regarding mental health. It’s a horrible tragedy all the way around.
Karin Graddy, Northern Illinois Synod Communication Director
Feb 20, 2008 at 9:25 am
To Mental Health Notes and others:
Six crosses HAVE been placed on campus because there are many who share the sentiments of Alicia Sparks in her poignant words from”Northern Illinois University Gunman’s Name Deserves To Be On A Cross.” By noon on Friday of last week, Lutheran Campus Ministry (LCM) at NIU erected six crosses. LCM is located directly across the street from the Holmes Student Center where a makeshift shrine with only five named crosses continues to grow. The Six Crosses make a bold statement as they face forward toward the sun and campus. The campus pastor wrote the following explanation of the SIX crosses and this statement has been shared within the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America and beyond and it was read at an LCM sponsored prayer vigil last night.
“Why Six?”
By noon of last Friday, six crosses draped in red and purple were erected outside the Lutheran Campus Ministry in DeKalb. I had asked my husband, a dear friend who had driven in from Iowa to be with us, and some students and friends of LCM to build big crosses and plant them on our lawn. They are beautiful and they have come to mean so much for so many. But many ask, “why six?” For me, the answer is not difficult…six crosses, six children of God gone from us. All six were loved by God and all six were victims and all six left behind families who are hurting, confused, empty.
Saturday night a man came into LCM. His hands were ice cold and he was warming himself with some sturdy coffee. He was visibly shaken which was my invitation to ask him to sit with me, talk with me. He was not a student. Up until Thursday, his only connection to NIU was through a sister who had graduated from the school years ago. As of Thursday, he was connected by a sixth cross.
He came to campus to lay flowers at “snow hill,” a shrine directly across the street from LCM…a shrine spontaneously birthed on a busy campus corner by hundreds as they left the LCM midnight vigil on Thursday/Friday. A statue of Buddha, frozen flowers, notes, signs, hundreds of candles have created “snow hill” And, there are six crosses on the hill: five crosses facing forward with names of those shot and killed and the sixth cross with no name simply facing backward. He came to lay flowers at “snow hill,” but he did not. Instead of finding solace at the hill, he was crushed by the sixth cross. With a sad heart, clad only in a light suit coat on a very cold night, he began walking the empty campus streets. After some time, he found himself across from “snow hill” and standing in front of LCM, in front of six crosses all facing in one direction with no names added but with many words of love and hope written by those who came to find peace at the cross. He laid his flowers in front of the six crosses, read our sign that invites anyone to come to us 24/7 for comfort and care. He accepted our invitation and was quite amazed to find himself talking with me.
But, talk he did. He shared his life story. He told me of his children. He told me of his pain. And, he asked if the sixth cross on “snow hill,” the cross turned away from us and the rest of the world, meant that God had turned away from Stephen. “Does that sixth cross mean that God has turned his back on that boy?” My heart ached for him and we cried together as I told him of God’s love for all the children…as I told him that all six of those young adults were loved by God and that God’s mercy and forgiveness is for all people. He thought about that for a long moment and then said, “I hope so because that could be my son. I worry about him. He’s not healthy. He knows that. He won’t stay on his medicine and I’m afraid of what he could do. I’m afraid God and the world will turn their backs on him and on me.”
We have six crosses outside LCM as a witness to the world that God loves us all…that God forgives us all…that there is hope for all…that the cross of Christ stands in blustery winter winds for everyone. “Why six?” Because God’s grace and mercy is for all!
Six crosses.
Six crosses draped in the color of Lent-royal purple.
Six crosses draped in the color of glory–red.
Red. A school color.
Red. A holy color, reminiscent of Christ’s blood shed on the cross.
Red. Christ’s blood now mingled with the blood of six.
Six crosses.
A guiding place on campus–”the six cross corner.”
Crosses that guide to places, prayers, hearts, hope.
Six crosses.
No distinctions, simply acknowledgment.
Six, not five.
Six children. Six families.
Six children of God, all loved by God.
Six crosses.
Six hurting families.
No distinctions, simply painful fact.
Six families crying out for mercy.
Six crosses–
offering hope to world family
facing east toward rising sun
standing firm in winters’ storms
directing hearts to God whose back is never turned—whose love is always flowing—
whose mercy is upon us all.
Diane Dardon, Campus Pastor, Northern Illinois University Lutheran Campus Pastor, February 18, 2008
Northern Illinois University Lutheran Campus Pastor Contacts Mental Health Notes
Feb 20, 2008 at 5:18 pm
[…] Last Saturday, I posted my thoughts about the six white crosses placed on “snow hill” at Northern Illinois Unive…. […]
Alicia Sparks, NAMI Affiliation Leader
Feb 20, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Thank you so much for your words, Diane and Karin. I’ve taken this comment and given it its own post, if you’d like to see:
Northern Illinois University Lutheran Campus Pastor Contacts Mental Health Notes
Ali
Feb 22, 2008 at 2:13 am
Alicia,
I am a student at NIU and have been personally affected by this horrific tragedy. Two of my friends were shot and a neighbor was killed.
I understand how serious mental illness and that living with a mental illness has to be incredibly difficult but in circumstances like these, when it hits so close to home, all normal reasoning and understanding goes out the window. Yes, Steve was very sick and it was beyond his control. But responsibility needs to be taken. He decided to stop taking his medication.
The students at NIU are dealing with so much pain and grief that honestly the shooters lose of life is probably the LAST thing on their mind. Especially finding the importance of putting his name on a white cross.
I do not blame anyone for not putting his name on that cross, in fact I am shocked that there is even a cross up there for him. It saddens me that he is being thought of by some as a victim because without him this wouldn’t have happened. No one would have died that day, no one wouldn’t have been injured and no one would have to go the rest of their life terrified to be in a classroom. He made the choice to stop taking his medication which resulted in 5 innocent lives being taken. Seeing a cross up there is kind of an insult to the victims. That his life is being honored for taking others.
Please be a little more sympathetic to the victims and their families. Steve’s family and friends can grieve him without there being a cross on campus, especially since they live in Florida. The real victims are in DEKALB and have to be reminded by that 6th cross everyday.
Alicia Sparks, NAMI Affiliation Leader
Feb 22, 2008 at 2:54 am
Ali: Thank you for your thoughts. I’m terribly sorry about the loss of your neighbor, and I truly wish your friends a safe recovery.
As far as requesting I be more sympathetic to the victims and their families, I can only refer you to the reply I left for Michelle above. My sympathy is extended not only to the five students Steven Kazmierczak killed - my sympathies are, and will remain, extended to everyone involved. As I mentioned in the comment above, “Neglecting to reach out and ask my readers to remember that Steven Kazmierczak, his family, and his friends were/are fellow humans would go against everything I stand for, as would neglecting to remind readers of just how serious mental illness is when not properly managed. These are things I simply will not do.”
I would also like to place emphasis on “properly managed.” His was not, as you’ve pointed out yourself - he chose to stop taking his medicine. I would no longer be able to think of myself as an advocate for mental health if I didn’t show readers that this tragedy is, sadly, another example of what can happen when mental illness is neglected by anyone - the patient included. However, the list of reasons why people with mental illnesses decide to stop taking their medications is a long and winding one, and in no way related to their worth as human beings or whether or not they deserve to be remembered/grieved by someone.
Again, Ali, I am truly sorry you’ve had to experience something so shocking, devastating, and scary in your life. I hope your wounded friends find comfort in you, and I hope you can find comfort as well.
Jessie
Feb 23, 2008 at 7:07 pm
Well, my attention was directed to this website about how you believe that the shooter deserves his name on the cross. And I must say, I was utterly disgusted. Along with Ali, who is my best friend, I too lost a neighbor, fellow Greek Row Community Leader, who would have made an amazing difference in this world, and also, two sorority sisters, one who has quite possibly lost the feeling in her arm,and another who is fighting to live. And it amazes me how you can even have an opinion like this, when YOU ARE NOT EVEN AN NIU STUDENT NOR ARE YOU IN DEKALB!!! Were you personal affected? NO! Do you even know anyone who was personally affected? NO! If you even knew reports about what REALLY happened(and this come from ACTUAL witnesses) you would know the coward that he was, he actually tried to run away and realized he had no way out, and took the scared way out by killing himself. He look my friend in the eye, and still shot her. He shot our dear neighbor, then went and shot more people, only to return fire on our neighbor 4 more times. He KNEW EXACTLY what he was doing. If he was so mentally ill, exactly why was he not in a facility catering to his needs? If so, the guilt lays on the people who KNEW what he was capable of. I find it hard to believe his inner circle has so many things to say about him, then they go on to say oh, but it was the drugs. He planned this, he bought the guns, he rented the motel room, HE KNEW, NO EXCUSES, he is a cold blooded murderer. The only people in his inner circle who deserves my sympathy are his family, NOT HIM, they did not pull the trigger, HE DID. He was no innocent person, with his saw and knife in head tattoos. He was a murderer, who deserves no cross along side amazing NIU students who because of HIM, lost their lives and a chance at a bright future. Think of this victim’s parents, and Understand Michelle’s anger towards someone views who focus is more on a murderer who NO ONE at NIU is mourning, rather feeling angry towards. I find it so hard to believe to felt that strong about the shooter rather than focusing your attention on maybe what it takes for the vicitim’s and their families to get past this.
Alicia Sparks, NAMI Affiliation Leader
Feb 26, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Jessie: No, I am not a student at NIU, and no, I am not in Dekalb. Tragedy on this kind of scale tends to transcend beyond mere location. Just as the VT shooting last year affected the nation, so does the NIU shooting. I imagine if you and I shared opinions, my geographic region and where I attended college wouldn’t matter to you, so, as it is, my geographic location and where I attended college are moot points.
I’m terribly sorry about the loss of your neighbor and that your two friends were harmed; I pray they receive the mental and physical help they need to safely recover from this tragedy.
As for the rest of your comment, I can only direct you to my reply to your most recent comment.
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