Mental Health Notes - News, Education and Advocacy

In My Experience: Surviving Major Depression: Part Four

by Alicia Sparks, Mental Health Notes on September 18th, 2008

Today’s post is the fourth and final in a series written specifically for Mental Health Notes by Vancouver blogger Airdrie Miller. It chronicles her personal experiences with anxiety and depression, and how she handles the delicate balance of work, rest, and play.

The silver lining: I’m stronger than I thought.

Right now I am still taking medications for my depression. There are side effects, but I can live with them. I still only work part time. To stay sane, I need more sleep than most people. But for the first time in a long while I feel like I am back in my own skin. I am my authentic self. I work hard to remain balanced.

To end this series on a positive note, looking back, there are several silver linings to having had to battle with anxiety and depression:

First, I can now trust for sure that what the doctors say is true: depression is treatable. There were many months where I believed I would never get better. I had lost hope. In my recovery, I took it one day at a time, and eventually I was happy again. If this little tidbit alone helps anyone who is reading this blog post, then I am grateful. Once again, here it is: depression and anxiety are treatable. You can get better. And you will. Just be an advocate for yourself. You deserve fair treatment; you deserve whatever you need to get better from this miserable illness.

Second, therapy has a positive trickle-down effect. There was a time when I worried I was spending too much time on my own treatment (therapy, hospitalization, doctor’s visits). I wondered if I really deserved all the attention. After all, there are much worse-off people in the world who could benefit from this help. I remember when Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans, I told my therapist she should consider going down there to help. She laughed, and reminded me that all the good she does for me, in turn, helps my family, my success at work, and my community indirectly. She reminded me that I deserve all the help I need. And that by helping myself, I am helping those around me. Part of why I decided to write this series was to share this idea of the trickle-down effect of seeking help for depression and anxiety. After all, if you had a broken leg, you’d be no good to anyone to leave it that way, and you would get a cast at the doctor, right? Seeking treatment is, in my experience, always a good decision.

Finally, I’m stronger than I realized. In January 2007, we learned that my husband had advanced colorectal cancer that had spread to his lungs. The prognosis was, and remains, grave. When the reality of this difficult situation hit me I was worried. Could I handle looking after myself, my kids, and a sick spouse? The answer, I’ve learned, is yes! I am now drawing help and strength from the very social network that I had put in place as part of my goal to stay healthy and balanced. I now know how to ask for help from family and friends. I am still working part time, and have factored care-giving into my lifestyle. I am much stronger than I ever realized. What a gift.

Follow my blog, www.talkingtoair.com, and my husband Derek’s blog www.penmachine.com. Thanks for reading.

© Airdrie Miller

Image: SXC

Airdrie Miller teaches high school mathematics in Vancouver, BC. She also co-hosts and produces a podcast called Lip Gloss and Laptops. She has two beautiful daughters and a bloggable husband. Check him out at penmachine.com.

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POSTED IN: Mental Health Notes