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Book Review: Hide & Seek

by Alicia Sparks, Mental Health Notes on December 1st, 2008

When Wendy Aron decided to spend her fortieth birthday in her therapist’s office, it was merely because she wanted to get in some quality time with the woman she viewed as her “closest ally” (or, because she was remembering how she’d wanted to commit suicide by jumping off the Y in the Hollywood sign when she lived in Los Angeles); what she got, however, was one hell of a swift kick in the pants when her therapist of over 10 years told her she may move across the country.

After the initial panic subsided (and her plan to get herself committed to the psychiatric hospital she’d stayed at in her 20s failed – her admitting psychiatrist choked to his death on a chicken bone the night before admittance), Aron embarked on a year-long journey of support-group and self-improvement class hopping – a year the writer relives in her memoir Hide & Seek: How I Laughed at Depression, Conquered My Fears and Found Happiness.

Hide & Seek came with a press release that promised it was to be one “hilarious memoir.” To me, the situations Aron finds herself in (or, rather, places herself in) are where the real humor is. Too, although the book wasn’t written as if it were compiled of a collection of the writer’s diaries, reading it did feel like I was reading a long, continuous journal entry – and I enjoyed that.

Admittedly, there were times during the book when I just wanted to yank a knot in Aron’s tail (I can only take so much of someone feeling sorry for herself), but I suppose, at times, that’s the kind of reaction you can expect to have after you “get to know” someone who continually beats herself up. (Aron’s attitude is just as unforgiving when it comes to some of the folks she meets in her groups and classes.)

However, throughout the year Aron really does make an earnest attempt to be kinder to herself, gain a more positive perspective of her life, and get a grip on her depression. Actually, from self-esteem and learned optimism classes to depression and weight-loss support groups, Aron makes many earnest attempts. The woman even gives speed dating a go.

Aron sums up the “moral” of her tale in one paragraph near the end of the book’s final chapter:

“And then it occurred to me that it was all a matter of perception. It wasn’t what happened to me that was the problem; it was strictly how I viewed these things and what importance I gave them. There was always an opportunity to feel gratitude if I reframed certain events. And feeling gratitude, I have learned, was the first real step toward happiness.”

This realization helped Aron change her perspective of all the “negatives” in her life (her neighbors, her job, her family relationships), including herself. And, given that paragraph, I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently struggling with finding happiness due to his or her own perceptions about life. Aron devotes an entire book to self-discovery through discovering others, aiming to show readers that you really only have it as bad as you think you have it – that, if you pause and look at the situation in a different light or even through the eyes of another, you may realize life’s not so bad after all.

To learn more about Wendy Aron, Hide & Seek, and how you can confess your own neurotic behaviors, visit www.wendyaron.com. And don’t forget to check out her links page, where she provides links to various mental health websites.

Image: Amazon

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POSTED IN: Mental Health Notes